Sunday, September 27, 2009

Reasons to Hate Nature

I get hot flashes and PMS. It’s not fair.

  • I’ve taken to carrying a handkerchief to mop the sweat off. I feel like one of the fat villains in black-and-white movies, always mopping away the sweat of guilt and fear. For years these old clothe handkerchiefs lived, untouched, in a duct-taped cigar box, some frilly, some plain, some for men, some for women, a few that were mine as a little girl. There is still no way I’d use one to wipe anything but sweat, however. But those cloth hankies are handy now that I need them to mop the sweat from my … everywhere -- since it’s generally not considered appropriate for a female to just pull her shirt up to dry her face. Men have all the luck.

If back to nature were a good thing, it would only be hot muggy and disgusting when you’re at the beach. But no, it’s hot muggy and disgusting when we’re in the City, working, on the way to a job interview, an audition.

Nature sucks.

  • Spring = Allergies
  • Fall = Hayfever

And just generally about fall and winter --

  • It’s dark when I get up for work in the morning
  • It’s dark when I leave the office after work.

Yes. Nature sucks.

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